It tough to talk about

When I started this blog, I wanted to keep close tabs on hockey.  With my knees in pain on a daily basis, especially after playing hockey, I wanted to be able to go back and remember everything.  After I started the gel injections I knew I would be able to keep playing for a lot longer than I anticipated.  Back in 2014, I lost interest in keeping track.  Blogging because of the fact that I saw the end coming was no longer a consideration.

I had an occasional drive to write again, but I just put it out of my mind.  To be honest, I really did miss it.  I know I won’t be able to catch up everything in one blog post, but the last couple years have been a really wild ride.

So many games that they all blend in with each other.
So many opportunities won and lost.
So many great teammates.
So many great teams.

I am starting out fresh this week after coming up short in two championship games.  Its a bitter pill to swallow, and I wonder just how many kicks at the can I am going to have at achieving a championship.  Then, I remember how many great teams I have been a part of.  I remember winning so many championships in the last 18 years that I have lost count of them.  I go back and look at the pictures and then realize that its not even a complete gallery.  I should be thankful for all the opportunities I have had instead of being upset at the ones I have just missed on.

I know, its rec league hockey.  Beer league hockey shouldn’t matter.  It should be having a good time with your teammates.  It should be having a beer after the game with your team after a very satisfying game.  I do have fun doing those things, but that competitive fire still burns inside me.  I can’t shake it, and when I come up short in a game, its upsets me.  It drives me to get better.

Writing in this blog about losing a championship game is tough.  Its tough to start talking about the end result.  I go through in my mind how great it would be to win the league championship with the team you have played with for 15-20 games.  Its a long season after all.  Then, when its over and you come up short, there is an empty feeling.  Its one that is going to stick with me for a couple days, or at least until the new season starts.

Worst of all, I don’t like to make excuses.  Could I have been a little better than I was?  Absolutely.  It never falls on my team to do better, but on me to do better.  The mistakes I make are amplified over the missteps of my team.  I guess that is what fuels me to play better.

I really cannot wait for the new season to start in a couple weeks.  Until then, lacrosse reffing and working out in preparation for the Tough Mudder in September will be my motivation.