I thought about that game I played last night and after a good nights sleep, I feel much better about things. I didn’t play a flawless game by any stretch of imagination. However, I did play well enough to keep my team in the game. I wouldn’t have to say the other goalie wasn’t tested much, but by far I faced more quality chances that he did. I faced a lot more point blank shots and it could have been a lot worse if I played a truely poor game.
This morning, I still have this bad feeling inside me that I haven’t been able to shake. Maybe it is because the Stick Heads are successful without me in net, and after the way I was treated, I wanted to see them struggle. The fact of the matter is that all you need is a capable goalie in front of a good team to be competitive. They have that goalie, and the team is upgraded from what it was last season.
I am going to have to shake this really bad feeling out of my system before my game tonight at 6. It is still eating me alive and if I go into this next game feeling like I am now, I am going to be due another loss. That is the funny thing about playing goal. So much of it is mental. I have been playing with the knowledge that I am going to stop every puck in every game. If I get beat, I move on. I don’t feel like that right now. Right now I feel a lot more human, and that is a bad thing.
Rebounding from this experience is going to help me in the future.
I guess the problem that I have is the fact that I played so much better last season. My teams all played great in front of me for the most part. I went undefeated with one team, and that was a first for me. Allowing a very low 22 goals in 10 games was just incredible. Now, this season so far, I haven’t even come close to form. Course, I am only as good as the teams in front of me. The Bulldogs are going through some growing pains, but my inability to stop the puck effectivly isn’t helping. Ground Zero ran out of gas last week, and we will see how they rebound from that this week. Village Bike Shop got dominated last week, and we will see what happens this week.
I was hoping to make a strong run into the playoffs with at least 2 of these teams. Now, I just don’t know what to expect.
I am just fustrated at the way things are going down. I have to find a way to boost my confidence back up to where it has been for the better part of a half year. I guess getting booted by the Stick Heads did more damage than I want to let on. The shameful part is if they asked me back after this session, I would be tempted. Even after how crappy they treated me. That makes me sick when I think about it. It angers me either way.
I admit, it is a shitty thing to happen. It is time to move on and stop thinking about it. It is time to start focusing on these games. Moreover, it is time to stop being so critical. The Bulldogs and the rest of my teams will do as well as the people they have on them. If this isn’t my time to shine, then I will go at it again next session.
It was probably one of the games I wanted most this season, but I didn’t get it. My old Stick Heads team took advantage of their opportunities as my Bulldogs team fell 5-4. It was a good all around game, just a hard loss. I think I took it harder than the rest of the team did. Mainly because I had history with the Stick Heads, and a lot of it.
Things to improve on…
Oh where to start…
First, the Stick Heads burned me on two great top corner shots. I went down WAY too early….the story of my life. I was working on standing up to those shots, but I didn’t do that today. I didn’t play a bad game, just not good enough to win. That has been the story so far this season. When I am on my game, my team is seriously outgunned and we lose huge. When I make those little mistakes, it hurts my team in key situations.
My confidence bottomed out on the way out of the rink today. On the way home it started to inch back up a little. I still have this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that is very hard to describe. I wouldn’t have to say it is hatred. It is more like that feeling when you know it is going to be a long season.
So far, the teams I goaltend on are a combined 0-4. I thought my Bulldogs would go 6-4, and so far we are 0-2. There is a lot of work that needs to be done. I thought my Bronze team would get worked, and now I am hopeful when I see some of the new people we are bringing in. As for my Aluminum team, I thought we might make playoffs. After our first game, I don’t know what to think. Whatever happened to the joy of playing just to have fun? Thats a good question.