Just had my second shot of Goldschlagers and I am starting to feel a little better. Let me see, I spent the last 12 hours worrying, 3 hours crying, and 1 hour bitching about the situation I am in. It all boils down to this….
The team is looking for a change. Some members of the team want something different. Therefore, I am the odd man out. I know other people are out, but they are leaving of their own accord. I am being forced out UNLESS we win the championship this session. I scoffed at that. First off, we are talking about a team that hasn’t been scoring with any regularity. So what does changing me out have to do with it? I have heard it is performance issues, but we also are 3rd overall in goal against. I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know who to believe anymore. I don’t know what to think anymore. All I know, is that I am out of a job almost definetly. What am I going to do?
I haven’t thought that far ahead to be honest. I am still upset about the decision at hand.
What am I going to do.
My life has revolved around this team for a long time. I have wanted to see this team succeed and I have been behind the success for so long. Now, I am being pushed out the door and I feel rejected. I am taking this personally. I have no idea how else to take it.
At one time, before today, I was looking to move up. Now I am looking to move down again. Watching the goalies before my game, I am convinced now that I don’t belong in this league. My time is over.
Damn, I hate the fact that I don’t drink much. Actually, I probably wouldn’t be drunk off of three shots if I drank more. I am still able to type and think somewhat clearly. Thank god for spell check.
My time in Copper division is over. Just like in Bronze when I was cut. I guess I am just not good enough, and all the hard work, conditioning, and working on my game doesn’t matter. No team is going to take a dejected goalie that is for sure. I can put up stellar numbers, I can work out over and over again, and I can win countless championships. It all doesn’t matter in the long run. The Stick Heads were my team for the longest time. Now, I don’t know where my home is anymore when it comes to hockey. Working harder didn’t get my anywhere close to the goal I set for myself. Now, I am without another team.
So what is next? I don’t know. I am probably going to look back on this entry and laugh at myself for years to come. Now that I think of it, I have to plug in my phone and my head is very light indeed.
I still thiink this will be my last session in Intermediate. Maybe it is my fate….