The end is coming

Just had my second shot of Goldschlagers and I am starting to feel a little better.  Let me see, I spent the last 12 hours worrying,  3 hours crying, and 1 hour bitching about the situation I am in.  It all boils down to this….

The team is looking for a change.  Some members of the team want something different.  Therefore, I am the odd man out.  I know other people are out, but they are leaving of their own accord.  I am being forced out UNLESS we win the championship this session.  I scoffed at that.  First off, we are talking about a team that hasn’t been scoring with any regularity.  So what does changing me out have to do with it?  I have heard it is performance issues, but we also are 3rd overall in goal against.  I don’t know what to think anymore.  I don’t know who to believe anymore.  I don’t know what to think anymore.  All I know, is that I am out of a job almost definetly.  What am I going to do?

I haven’t thought that far ahead to be honest.  I am still upset about the decision at hand.

What am I going to do.

My life has revolved around this team for a long time.  I have wanted to see this team succeed and I have been behind the success for so long.  Now, I am being pushed out the door and I feel rejected.  I am taking this personally.  I have no idea how else to take it.

At one time, before today, I was looking to move up.  Now I am looking to move down again.  Watching the goalies before my game, I am convinced now that I don’t belong in this league.  My time is over.

Damn, I hate the fact that I don’t drink much.  Actually, I probably wouldn’t be drunk off of three shots if I drank more.  I am still able to type and think somewhat clearly.  Thank god for spell check.

My time in Copper division is over.  Just like in Bronze when I was cut.  I guess I am just not good enough, and all the hard work, conditioning, and working on my game doesn’t matter.  No team is going to take a dejected goalie that is for sure.  I can put up stellar numbers, I can work out over and over again, and I can win countless championships.  It all doesn’t matter in the long run.  The Stick Heads were my team for the longest time.  Now, I don’t know where my home is anymore when it comes to hockey.  Working harder didn’t get my anywhere close to the goal I set for myself.  Now, I am without another team.

So what is next?  I don’t know.  I am probably going to look back on this entry and laugh at myself for years to come.  Now that I think of it, I have to plug in my phone and my head is very light indeed.

I still thiink this will be my last session in Intermediate.  Maybe it is my fate….