Simply amazing

Well, after the alcohol last night, I woke up to the same issue at hand. Nothing has changed and my goal remains the same.

With the strong win last night of the Stick Heads, we are in a virtual tie for a playoff spot. Even if we win next week, we are not in for sure. The tie breaker is going to hurt us and may put us back down out of playoff contention. To be honest, that doesn’t phase me.

I have made the decision that unless there is a major movement in the leadership of this team, this is my last session with the Stick Heads. I have had many great moments with this team and I owe them a lot. However, I don’t owe them a single thing when it comes to my integrity or work ethic. I have given it my all every game I have played with them. To be replaced is a low blow in my opinion. Espeically over the crappy reasons they gave me.

The problem that I see out of this whole situation is not only leaving to get on a new team, but what team will I find? As is typical, I am going to have to work my ass off with lower tier teams to get myself back up with a contending team. The Stick Heads have always gelled well. Same with other teams I have been on. However, there are some teams that I have been lucky to get a couple wins with. There are ups and downs to look forward to that is for sure.

The main reason why I was so upset last night at the situation is I guess when it came down to it, I lost something very dear to me. Not as dear as my family or my job, but something else. Here is a team that I have worked out hard for. I have experienced a lot of happiness and heartbreak with this team. It has been a long road, but a fun ride down that road. Now, when you see the dead end coming, and no roads to get off on, eventually you have to stop the car and look in your rear view mirror. In that mirror, I see the success of lifting 4 trophies with this team. I see my team piling on top of me after our first trophy win and straining my back so bad that I couldn’t walk well for a few days. It was worth it though because we beat a team that had more skill than we had. I don’t have to look at my memories to remember what that first one was like. Same with the other three….

Teams were not meant to be together for so long. It seems that some members get fed up and move on. Maybe people get upset or fed up with the way things go on a team long term. For me, I like stability. I like being wanted. I like the fact that I know where I stand. Those three things went up in smoke for me in the span of 12 hours and made me feel so empty inside.

I know I can compete in intermediate or advanced league hockey with the right team in front of me. Finding that new team will be the next challenge….

The end is coming

Just had my second shot of Goldschlagers and I am starting to feel a little better.  Let me see, I spent the last 12 hours worrying,  3 hours crying, and 1 hour bitching about the situation I am in.  It all boils down to this….

The team is looking for a change.  Some members of the team want something different.  Therefore, I am the odd man out.  I know other people are out, but they are leaving of their own accord.  I am being forced out UNLESS we win the championship this session.  I scoffed at that.  First off, we are talking about a team that hasn’t been scoring with any regularity.  So what does changing me out have to do with it?  I have heard it is performance issues, but we also are 3rd overall in goal against.  I don’t know what to think anymore.  I don’t know who to believe anymore.  I don’t know what to think anymore.  All I know, is that I am out of a job almost definetly.  What am I going to do?

I haven’t thought that far ahead to be honest.  I am still upset about the decision at hand.

What am I going to do.

My life has revolved around this team for a long time.  I have wanted to see this team succeed and I have been behind the success for so long.  Now, I am being pushed out the door and I feel rejected.  I am taking this personally.  I have no idea how else to take it.

At one time, before today, I was looking to move up.  Now I am looking to move down again.  Watching the goalies before my game, I am convinced now that I don’t belong in this league.  My time is over.

Damn, I hate the fact that I don’t drink much.  Actually, I probably wouldn’t be drunk off of three shots if I drank more.  I am still able to type and think somewhat clearly.  Thank god for spell check.

My time in Copper division is over.  Just like in Bronze when I was cut.  I guess I am just not good enough, and all the hard work, conditioning, and working on my game doesn’t matter.  No team is going to take a dejected goalie that is for sure.  I can put up stellar numbers, I can work out over and over again, and I can win countless championships.  It all doesn’t matter in the long run.  The Stick Heads were my team for the longest time.  Now, I don’t know where my home is anymore when it comes to hockey.  Working harder didn’t get my anywhere close to the goal I set for myself.  Now, I am without another team.

So what is next?  I don’t know.  I am probably going to look back on this entry and laugh at myself for years to come.  Now that I think of it, I have to plug in my phone and my head is very light indeed.

I still thiink this will be my last session in Intermediate.  Maybe it is my fate….