After I got that recommendation from my doctor to stop playing hockey, I sought out a second opinion from a specialist. In the meantime, the last few weeks have been a long hard road needless to say. I have had more than a few sleepless nights just waiting to get in to see him. The day finally came on Friday when I walked in to get the news I had been searching for.
I have a degenerative condition in my knees which is causing my cartilage to break down. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I am double jointed in my knees and the years of hockey I have been playing has taken its toll. Some of it has to do with age. After dealing with a grinding feeling in my knees for the last year, I decided to have them looked at and do something about it.
The specialist said that this kind of condition is really not reversible, but there are options besides what the last doctor recommended. His recommendation was to stop playing hockey and opt for Viscosupplementation which is injections of gel into the knees.
http://my.clevelandclinic.org/services/viscosupplementation/hic_what_is_viscosupplementation.aspx
The whole idea of stopping playing goalie was to halt the degenerative condition. The gel injections would cushion the knee and then I would be good to go for an extended period of time. I could still skate, but bending my knees in the same way would be causing more harm than good.
My current specialist has indicated that the injections would be suitable for me to keep playing for a long time to come IF they have a positive effect. The whole procedure is still controversial. Some people experience total relief and continue to exercise and operate at a high level. Others feel nothing different and have to go onto other means of treatment. Another thing I will be doing is going to the doctors office more often. Each treatment is 3 injections. If I am still playing, thats 3 injections that I could be having per month. Just based on how much gel remains in my knees from one week to the next.
So, start with the gel injection, see how my knees react and then make adjustments from there. I can handle that. Its a heck of a lot better than, “Stop playing and do something else.”
First appointment is in about a month.
After getting potentially devastating news from my doctor, I got a lot of good feedback from Mike, a friend of mine who is a physical therapist. Pretty much, I was told a few different things. I will sum them up here.
1. Get a 2nd opinion. There are some doctors out there that are just out to go for surgery because its for profit. I got a good recommendation.
2. Before you do any injections of gel for the knees, make sure you are at a point where its very uncomfortable. Once you go down the road of altering things, it is when everything about your knees starts to change. Its best to wait as long as possible, especially when it comes to cartilage loss.
3. Don’t lose hope. What one doctor says is not the end of the world. You have to keep your head up and your hopes high.
For as much as I was uplifted after winning my game 5-4 and I played really well in the game, this news really made me feel better. Even though I climbed in my car and read the doctors notes and his recommendations again after I was done. If this is true, and the doctor is trying to make a money grab, I will be really pissed. I know I have knee pain, but I am going to get a second opinion.
The problem is that I am going to be waiting 2-3 weeks for news of this, which means that I am going to probably be worrying about it for that long.
My nice wife has gotten me some Glucosamine Chondroitin which is something that helps joint pain. Don’t know how good it is, but at this point I will be happy to give it a try. $16 a bottle though? Seriously? This thing better help me grow cartilage for that price.
Well, I think the title says it all. I have jokingly teased about my upcoming retirement from hockey for a long time. There were times I had knee pain enough to actually consider it, but in the end, I always found ways to make sure that I always could play.
First, lets go back to the beginning. I was born double jointed in my knees which I really didn’t see as a benefit. I played a variety of sports from basketball, cross country, track, and wrestling in high school. I really wasn’t good, but I was always enjoying being part of the team. After I graduated college, I was looking for something new to do. I didn’t want to be one of these hockey fans that never put on skates and played hockey. Armchair fans really suck in my opinion, so I started playing hockey.
Now, hockey was something that wasn’t easy for me. I couldn’t skate, but I learned how to skate as I played. It took me years of playing a few times a week to earn my first championship in hockey. I had a lot of great success playing through the years. I made many friends, and rivalries along the way. It was the perfect team sport to be a part of. I wish I had done this at an earlier age, but I was having way too much fun with it to even think about it.
One thing that really helped me was being double jointed in my knees. I have had many people ask me how I do what I do, and its because of being double jointed in my knees. I can fan out when I go down covering a larger portion of the net than other butterfly goalies. Its not perfect, or faster, but its my style and my style has done me well in the past. Sure, I have changed a lot when it came to my playing style in terms of how far I come out and my reaction time, but my base style has always been the same which is take away everything low.
Back about two years ago, I started having pains in my knees and it was a little hard to bear at times. Visits to my doctor office showed the cartilage in my knees was giving out.
This gives you a good idea of where the problem lies. The cartilage has been slowly wearing away since I started playing hockey. The doctor and I have tried a few different things, and there has been little change. The cartilage still has been wearing thin as I have been playing. Part of the problem is the way that I play, and how often over the last 5-6 years.
So now, with my last appointment, I am becoming faced with the reality that I really am at the end of the road. I will have a couple choices to make here.
1. Retire from hockey, and get a shot of gel in my knees that should remove the grinding in my knee, and continue to be able to skate and ref.
2. Keep playing until the cartilage gives out, and opt for gel or probably knee surgery.
3. Retire from hockey and skating all together and do other non impact sports such as swimming.
Man, talk about a tough decision.
I have been swimming with this in my head for a while now, and although it pains me to say it, I am leaning toward option 1. I don’t think I can walk away from the game of hockey entirely, but I do think its time for a change. A very serious change that is really going to change my world.
So what have I decided to do?
I will retire from goaltending officially in July 2010. This gives me time to work on my skating more over the summer so I can get certified in USA Hockey refereeing level 2 in Fall of 2010. It also gives me time to finish out my next two seasons of roller and play a full season of ice hockey with some friends I have always wanted to play with.
This decision did not come without a lot of thought, and regret at the same time. I am still going to pursue other avenues so I can play, but as of right now, my decision stands.
What about the teams I currently play for? I will be asking my brother or another good friend of mine to step in for me and take over indefinitely.
I also give a promise to update my blog with every game I play from now until I am finished. I want to look back on these last games and know how I did and in much better detail than before.
More to come later….
Keeping your composure and being stable mentally is what makes a good goalie. As I have learned early in goaltending, its all a mind game for a goalie. Over 50% of being a good goalie is knowing you are going to stop the puck. I do have a problem though, and I have let it eat me up inside too long without talking about it. So I am going to address it here and be done with it.
I have let certain people and players get into my head in the past 5-6 years. These people have had great success against me because of my predisposition to allowing them to control my emotions. Head games are all part of the game of hockey, but I have let it influence me too much.
Last night, in specific, I let a couple goals I let in get me down. The attitude of the team I played against was getting to me as well. I suppose you could say I had a bad game and just let it go from there. At the same time though, I have to be better mentally as well as physically.
Playing in the top division this season has really opened my eyes to the fact that maybe I am not cut out to playing in it. We will see how things look after the season is over and the dust has settled though.
After almost 5 days without playing, I am already missing hockey. Just a week ago I was playing 3-4 times a week. Now I am down to zero because my neck is pretty stiff and sore from playing on Saturday. I should be ok to play hockey by next week, but the time when you aren’t playing sucks pretty bad.
After my last 3 games where my teams scored a combined total of 4 goals, I am eager to get back in the crease and playing some fun hockey. After having so much success in all the years I have played, I promised myself I would never get down on myself if I didn’t win a championship again. I was up to my word on Saturday last week and even today I have two words that make everything alright.
“No Regrets”
I started saying this about 4 years ago, back when I was still learning what it meant. I now realize just how meaningful those words mean. Everyone deserves their turn in the spotlight. You can’t win every game. Most importantly, you have to play for the fun of playing and for the friends you have around you. Not for titles or trophies. Not for glory. No one is going to remember you forever, so why let the small things get you down? Life is short, play hard.
Heck, just by typing this, I have learned that I really miss hockey. 
At least I have the Griffins and some occasional reffing gigs to keep me occupied in the meantime.
I guess after playing my first 3 playoff games that good things were going to happen to me today. Things didn’t work out like I had planned. In the last three games, my teams scored a grand total of 4 goals. It didn’t help that I wasn’t consistent in net after the first three games.
Malys made it to the second round and lost after a very spirited first game. Who Cares did the same thing. Marketlab made it to the finals and lost to a hungrier team.
I have a few admissions to make after this season. First, I might have been a little tired and not on my game. Sure, your team doesn’t score you aren’t going to win, but I probably could have played a little sharper. I could attribute it to playing on too many teams in a single day and not sleeping well the previous night. I think it was probably a little of both.
Really, it wasn’t a disappointing day. Even though I didn’t achieve the goal I wanted. Marketlab will be back and I will be back for a new team that will be a combination of Maly’s and Who Cares. I played against some really great people. Its great to get out there and have fun with people that you play against every now and again. I am glad that I have so many friends and players who respect me and vice versa. I couldn’t be happier playing hockey.
I have achieved more in hockey than I ever thought possible. Which is why I am not terribly disappointed with the result today. I remember back about 7 years ago when I took it personally when it came to my playoff performance. Today, 27 championships later, I am content with letting things fall into place and if good things happen then great. Everyone gets their day in the sun eventually and its my hope that I will get that next season.
I really hoped to see other friends of mine get their shot at a championship. Some dreams were squashed while others came true. I was happy to see P.J. and Mr. Burger win a championship. They have played many seasons and have struck out over and over again. You have to be happy when someone works hard and gets far. I was hoping that Hailstorm would take the beginner league, but it just didn’t work out for them this season.
In the end, its all about playing with your friends. I am happy that I have been able to play for as long as I have.
Now I am going to settle into a break and rest up for next season.
When this season started, I was caught up in wondering just how I would do. After last season and only leading a single team to the playoffs, I really wanted to make strides in my game. I did pretty well this season in leading all my teams to playoffs. It wasn’t all me though, but it still leaves me quite satisfied with the results so far.
Maly’s finished 3rd overall after a very successful season. With our personnel I thought we did marvelous. I may have gotten frustrated a couple times, but by the end of the season I was playing like I should have played. I gave my team a chance to win every night, and I feel very good going into playoffs on Saturday with this team.
Who Cares also did well finishing 5th overall in a very tough division. I feel very good about our chances here as well. Our team has come through a lot of adversity to be a better team at the end of the season. I really believe that we can make some noise in the tournament.
Finally, Marketlab finished 1st overall in a up and down season. We started out strong, only to falter a few weeks, and then start back on the upswing. We will have our full team which works in our favor. At the same time though, we really need to make our mark in the playoffs this season. We started out 6-0, and then went 2-2 in our last 4 games. One of the teams we beat only had 4 guys. I really think we are the best team in the division, but we have to prove it against the top 4 teams in the league. Its very doable as we have beaten every team that made playoffs at least once. Its just time to prove it.
I find myself eagerly anticipating the games tomorrow. I am glad that I have enough to do today to keep my mind occupied. Otherwise I would sit at home and just think about the games and how I would react in certain situations.
Then I wonder what I am going to do when I can’t play in these kinds of games anymore as I get older…
I played last night to what came out a better than average game. I came up with a couple excellent saves, but those were wiped out by a couple goals I let in that I should have had. In the end, we won 6-5 in OT so I was happy about that. Still, it was a game that shouldn’t have been as close if I was on top of my game.
This week, I knew with only 2 games that I was going to play, that I had to be sharp. I wanted to go into playoffs on Saturday focused and ready to play. I wanted to go in on a roll winning my games and playing solid. Instead, I have been inconsistent. I come up with some great saves, and then I just can’t stop the puck 5 minutes later.
My focus is what the problem is. On the two shots I should have stopped, I lost my focus on the puck. I have to stay on target so to speak. Anything less is bad for me and my teams.
Now I shift my focus to tonight’s game where a win puts us in 1st place. A win against the team we are tied with right now is going to be a tough feat. The game will not be easy, but it will be ultra competitive. I would not be surprised to see us playing in the finals against this tough Lightning team. For now though, with my full team in front of me, I am aiming for a win tonight.
After playing solid on Monday and Wednesday, I thought that I would be following that up with a strong performance on Thursday. It just didn’t happen. Marketlab lost 6-3, and I was inconsistent in net for the loss. My team couldn’t put the puck in the net, but I couldn’t make a solid save all night. With one week to go in the season, I have a few games to get my feet back underneath me and get my swagger back before playoffs hit.
I found myself bumming pretty badly yesterday after that loss. I took it rather personally that I let my team down. It was our best shot to put a solid foothold on first, and then I realized that it doesn’t matter what place we take. The last few championships I have won the team wasn’t in first place. Last season with Marketlab we were 2nd and won the title. Same in spring 2009 when we finished in 2nd place and won the title. There have been countless times I have won championships when not in the first seed.
So whats the problem here? What feels so different that I have to get down on myself? My confidence was shaken and I feel like I am playing inconsistently. I had two great games, and then played bad last night. I have to start building on winning consistently next week. I focus on winning Wednesday and Thursday. Leading into Saturday for playoffs, I want to have wins and confidence under my belt.
Today though, I am physically spent still, and I have ice hockey tonight and refereeing this weekend. I will be resting a lot this weekend around my reffing that’s for sure.
This season was full of question marks for some of the teams I play for. Would we be good enough to compete in our respective leagues? Would we have enough to compete for a championship? I am proud to say that hockey has treated me and my teammates well for the most part this season.
Malys is moving onto the playoffs in the 3rd place position for the most part. With a 7-2 record right now, we have a very small chance to jump to 2nd but can’t drop to lower than 4th with one game to go.
Who Cares moved on with a win last night and are currently sitting 5th in the league. We have a shot to move up as high as 3rd depending on how things go with our last game.
Lastly, Marketlab can clinch 1st in the division with a win in the last 2 games. Either way, they are in the playoffs even if we lose our last 2 games which won’t happen. I am really looking forward to getting out there and getting a step toward clinching first tonight.
Ice hockey has been hit or miss for me all season because I have not been able to steadily play on Friday nights due to other commitments. I am really looking forward to playing ice hockey on a regular basis in the Spring/Summer.
On a side note, my body has been responding well over the last few weeks. I was still hobbled by a groin injury that was taking forever to heal up from October-December. Now, that twinge of pain is finally subsiding and I am able to move much more quickly than I was before. I hope this is a sign of things to come. Getting fully healthy right around playoff time is a good thing.
